Aporagender identity
In fact, contrary to some individuals’ beliefs, aporagender is not the same as agender or genderless because these gender identities imply the absence of gender, while aporagender people feel their gender very strongly.
Aporagender is also different from being androgynous since androgyny is a combination of masculine and feminine characteristics; in other words, it is somewhere in between these gender identities. Aporagender, as mentioned above, is neither male nor female, and not even something in between.
Aporagender can also be used as an umbrella term. It may include genderqueer and some other non-binary identities. It does not include agender, binary trans people, and those who view themselves somewhere between female and male.
According to some people, aporagender is somewhat similar to neutrois. Aporagender and neutrois can actually be considered synonyms because one of the meanings of neutrois is feeling neither female nor male, nor anything in between.
The essentials and some history
The word aporagender derives from the Greek prefix "apora-", meaning «separate" + gender. The term was coined in 2014 by the Aporagender blog’s moderator. Its author created the word as an alternative to aliagender. The latter was the term used to describe a gender identity which is nothing like a mixture of female and male, nor lack of gender, but a strong gender identity that is not male or female. In fact, the meaning is very similar.
However, for some reason, the term aliagender was found controversial, politically incorrect, and even racist. That is why, essentially, the word aporagender replaced it.
As ironic as it may sound, some bloggers think that the term aporagender is racist too. Nevertheless, "aporagender" was generally accepted and is now widely used by non-binary people.
Flag
There are several aporagender flags. The first and the most popular one was created by the user Hyaenahart of the Aporagender blog. The flag consists of five horizontal stripes of equal width. From top to bottom, the colors are the following: pink, purple, yellow, purple, blue.
The pink color symbolizes the feminine, the blue represents the masculine; these colors have been put on both edges of the flag because this gender identity is totally separate from masculinity and femininity.
The purple color stands for aporagender individuals' feeling between the masculine and the feminine.
The yellow color symbolizes the fact that this gender identity has nothing to do with being male, female, or both. This color is close enough to the other colors because aporagender people still feel a strong connection to some kind of gender. Yellow also means that aporagender is a non-binary identity.
Aporagender and sexual orientation
The term "sexual orientation" is used to describe enduring patterns of who an individual is attracted/drawn to sexually, romantically, and/or emotionally. Neither gender identity nor sexual orientation is outwardly visible to others.
Aporagender people, just like individuals of other genders identities, may have any sexual orientation - heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc.
What pronouns should be used when talking to an aporagender?
Coming out as aporagender
Coming out as aporagender is not a one-time thing - it is always a process. It begins with coming out to yourself. Then if and when you are ready, you can eventually share it with others. And there are no one-size-fits-all solutions here.
But if you have self-identified as aporagender, and you are planning on telling other important people in your life, here are a few tips that will surely help you on your coming out journey:
- Do not rush nor push yourself - you do not have to reveal your identity to everyone at once; it all should be on your terms;
- It is best to come out to a close friend first, and then proceed to tell family members, coworkers, etc.;
- Be positive but always remember that we cannot predict how people will react to your announcement - some individuals might take it negatively, and there is nothing you can do about it;
- Develop a support network of your accepting and caring family members or friends, get a mentor to talk to if needed.
What is the best way to support my aporagender friends?
Despite the recent progress in the field of LGBTQIA+ rights, many non-binary people, including aporagender individuals, still face bias, discrimination, and bullying that are a threat to their mental and physical health, well-being, financial security. That is why each and every one of us should be an ally to aporagender people we know and spread awareness about issues that affect them.
Being an ally is not something involving a lot of effort. If you agree that all people who identify as aporagender deserve equality and fair treatment in society, you are already an ally. You may also show your support online.
But you can do more than that and be an active ally. Here is how you can show your support to aporagender people you know:
- Familiarize yourself with the gender-related terminology, use the pronouns your aporagender friends or family prefer;
- Stand up to those who make offensive jokes, mean name-calling, and hurtful teasing - it is crucial for an ally to make ignorant people understand they will not get away with it;
- Advocate for aporagender-friendly policies at school or work;
- Get involved in the LGBTQIA+ community - your presence at important events and your donations to LGBTQIA+ organizations, no matter how small, are a significant show of support and solidarity.