Neutrois
Some other neutrois people may feel like they are null-gendered which makes them similar to agender/genderless (people who feel like they lack gender or like their gender is neutral) instead.
Some people may self-identify as both neutrois and agender, while others may describe themselves as exclusively neutrois.
Some neutrois individuals may also identify as transgender. Each experience is unique. The one thing they all neutrois people have in common is altering the concept of gender within a traditional binary society.
Usually, neutrois people prefer their gender presentation to be gender-neutral or androgynous. However, this is nothing but a matter of personal choice, so it may vary from person to person or change over time.
The essentials
A neutrois person whose name is H. A. Burnham came up with the term "neutrois" in 1995. Neutrois is a combination of the word "neutral" and the French word "trois" ("three") in the sense of the third gender.
Some neutrois people may experience gender dysphoria. Click here to take a free Gender Dysphoria Test.
Some neutrois people describe themselves as having or seeking to have reduced signs of physical sex or no signs of it at all and want to transition medically to remove them. Others want to remove only some specific sex characteristics or choose not to undergo surgery.
So, what is the difference between neutrois and agender?
There is some disagreement about the difference between the words "neutrois" and "agender". According to some people, these terms have the same meaning. The other group thinks there is a big difference between these words. The main dissimilarity between these two identities is that agender is the experience of lacking gender/not associating with any gender, while neutrois is the experience of having a gender identity, yet a neutral one.
Flags and symbols
There are several versions of the neutrois flag.
It is unknown who and when created the first neutrois flag. This flag has three stripes of three different colors. From top to bottom, they are white, dark chartreuse green, and black. The white stripe symbolizes the state of being neutral, questioning, or having an unidentified gender identity. The dark chartreuse green, which is the inverse of lavender (the blend of pink and blue), represents the non-binary gender that is neither male nor female. The black color represents the agender or genderless identities.
Another popular neutrois is designed by Jules/James Gray:
Here are some other neutrois flags:
- Neutrois2 - black, pine green, white, purple, black;
- Flag by the-gender-collector-emself - black, grey, white, light green, green;
- Neutrois lesbian by bulldykebutch - navy blue, pine green, light green, yellow, light pink, pink, burgundy.
The neutrois symbol, which is identical to the gender-neutral symbol, was created by a group of non-binary people from Brazil in 2014. Its design was definitely inspired by the male and female symbols. But it has neither the traditional male arrow nor the female cross. All it consists of is a circle and a line that can be facing both up and down. Agender symbols are sometimes used as neutrois symbols, too.
Neutrois and sexual orientation
Everyone has both gender identity and sexual orientation. And in both cases, it’s never obvious.
Gender identity is an individual’s inner sense of self as a woman, man, something in between, or something that doesn't fall into any of these categories. Some people develop a gender identity that corresponds to their sex assigned at birth but some do not.
Sexual orientation is the type of romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction one feels for another person.
Neutrois people’s sexual orientation can be different. They can be attracted to men, women, transgender or people of any other gender identity.
What pronouns should be used when talking to a neutrois?
Most neutrois people, just like people of many other non-binary gender identities, prefer gender-neutral “they/them/their/theirs” pronouns. But some of them might use other pronouns, like “xe/xem/xyr/xyrs”, “ze/zim/zir/zirs”, etc., that have been growing increasingly popular in non-binary communities.
All you need to do to stop doubting what pronouns to use is to ask your neutrois interlocutor politely and with a smile if they prefer “they/them”, “xe/xem” or other pronouns.
Coming out as neutrois
There are many reasons why neutrois people choose to come out:
- They're ready to start dating/be in a relationship/get married and want their family and friends to know;
- They want people to stop gossiping about them;
- They want to start living authentically.
There are also lots of reasons why people decide not to come out, such as:
- They're still trying to figure out their gender identity for themselves;
- They're afraid they might face discrimination, bullying, violence;
- They’re worried about what their family/friends’ reaction might be if they found out.
Just like people of other non-binary identities, neutrois individuals who are planning to or already have decided to come out are very courageous.
If you or someone you know have already made the decision to come out as neutrois, or are trying to figure out whether or not it’s the right thing to do, here are some tips for you:
- Find a counselor or call an anonymous LGBTQIA+ hotline to get advice and support you need;
- Let go of expectations - accept that some people might not react to your coming out the way you’d like them to;
- Build a network of supportive relatives and friends.
What is the best way to support neutrois people?
Unfortunately, many neutrois people still face intolerance, bigotry, hatred. For example, in many countries, their gender marker is still not recognized legally on their documents.
However, the situation is changing. An increasing number of countries and websites allow for non-binary identities, including neutrois, to be recognized. For instance, Facebook now includes neutrois as a gender option.
You can take action to fight neutrois people discrimination too, it’s not that hard! Neutrois rights are human rights. We all need better laws, more freedom and greater consideration for human dignity.
You don’t have to identify as neutrois to be a strong supporter of your neutrois friends, family, or coworkers. All you need is to treat others (including neutrois people) the way you would like to be treated - with empathy and respect. To be open-minded and open-hearted. To be a good listener. To be a true ally who doesn’t let bullies get away with stupid jokes about neutrois people. To learn more and more to understand about neutrois and gender in general.
Because being different doesn’t mean being abnormal. We all have our own unique ways, but it’s exactly what makes each and every one of us interesting!