Grayromantic

What is grayromanticism?

Grayromantic (also spelled greyromantic, sometimes shortened to grayro, and otherwise referred to as grayaromantic (greyaromantic) is an orientation on the aromantic spectrum. Essentially, grayromanticism is related to aromanticism, yet there is part of grayro individuals’ experience that cannot be fully expressed by the aromantic label.

The term grayromantic is used to describe individuals who feel romantic attraction pretty infrequently. Some people who identify as grayromantic may experience it once or twice in their lifetime, while others may experience it more often, but still not as often as alloromantic individuals (those who can feel romantic attraction towards people of various genders).

Grayromantic can be both a specific romantic orientation and an umbrella term for any identity on the aromantic spectrum that is not purely aromantic. There is no one way to be grayromantic - different grayro individuals may have different romantic patterns.

People who perceive themselves as grayromantics may experience:

• Infrequent romantic attraction;
• Unintense romantic attraction;
• Uncertainty whether they have or have not felt romantic attraction towards an individual due to feeling unsure about how to tell romantic from non-romantic;
• Lack of understanding of romantic attraction as a concept;
• Romantic attraction only under specific circumstances;
• Romantic attraction without desiring to have a romantic relationship.

Note that some individuals who identify as grayromantic may seek out romantic relationships, but most do not.

Grayromantic can be the only orientation a person has or be combined with other orientations. For instance, an individual might be grayromantic and at the same time, monoromantic (gray-monoromantic). It means that such a person feels romantic attraction very rarely, but when they do it is always towards people of exclusively one gender.

Grayromantic pride flag

There are several grayromantic pride flag designs. The date of creation and the designer of the first and the most popular grayro flag is unknown. All we know is its colors and their meaning.

The flag consists of five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom, the colors are: green, gray, white, gray, green. The green color symbolizes aromanticism, the white color stands for romantic attraction, and the gray color represents what is in-between - kind of a "gray area".

Importance of coming out

Coming out is a process of revealing your sexual or romantic orientation. First, you accept and embrace yourself as grayromantic. Then you have to choose whether to stay in the closet or come out of it. For some people, coming out is the hardest thing to do in their life.

But recent studies show that LGBTQIA+ people who chose to come out of the closet live healthier lives and face lower levels of anxiety and stress. And it comes as no surprise - when one is hiding their true identity, it means they are not being honest with themselves and others and are pretending to be someone they are not, which leads to stress. Thus, coming out as grayro to people in your life is crucial for you to live openly and be healthy. Obviously, the advice to come out is valid only if you live and work in a safe environment.

If you are planning to tell people around you that you are grayromantic, here are some tips to make your coming out journey even more successful:

• Start with coming out to just one trusted person - whether it be a supportive sibling or your best friend;
• You can tell people in person or choose to come out via call, text, or a social media post - only you make decisions here, so do whatever suits you best;
• Be prepared for some people to react negatively and/or not understand your orientation at first; think positive - nothing is forever, so they will probably respect and accept you at some point;
• If you feel that the coming out process is emotionally challenging for you, speak to a counselor or call an LGBTQIA+ hotline - remember that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.

Helping your loved ones, family, and friends understand grayromanticism

So, you are coming out as grayro to your friends, family, coworkers. And many of them ask questions. In fact, a large number of individuals who identify as grayromantic find it intimidating to come out in particular because it feels like there is so much to explain to everyone.

And at some point, you may ask yourself: "Why does it have to be only my responsibility to educate people?» The question sounds rhetorical. Actually, there probably is an answer to this question: "If not you, then who?"

To avoid repeating the same things over and over again, you might want to bring in some useful resources for your loved ones that can help them learn more about grayromanticism. It will make the process much easier for you. Do not overwhelm your friends and family with thousands of websites, blogs, YouTube channels. Start with a few and see what happens. It is best to keep things as simple as possible for people who have never dealt with any romantic orientation before you came out to them as grayro.