What is gynesexuality?
Gynesexuality (previously known as femsexuality and sometimes referred to as gynosexuality) is a term that has several meanings:
- Sexual attraction exclusively towards cisgender women (thus, lesbian women, straight men, and non-binary people attracted to women can identify as gynesexuals);
- Sexual attraction towards individuals with a feminine gender expression/presentation, regardless of their gender;
- Sexual attraction towards femininity/female anatomy, no matter the individual’s gender. According to some people, this definition is somewhat transphobic though - it puts trans men who have not undergone gender-affirming surgery/surgeries yet (or is not planning any surgery at all) in the same group with cisgender women just because of their genitals.
The terms gynesexuality and gynesexual originate from Greek gyne ("woman", "female") + Latin sexualis ("sexual"). These terms were, probably, coined by and for a non-binary individual. However, most non-binary people like to be more specific about the kind of their attraction, that is why they prefer to describe their sexual orientation with one of the following words:
- Finsexual - a term that describes an individual who is sexually attracted to people who are feminine in nature (FIN);
- Womasexual or womansexual - a term used to describe a person who is attracted exclusively to cisgender women;
- Venusic - a term used to describe a non-binary person who is sexually attracted to women, women-aligned people, and lunarian (feminine-aligned) individuals only.
Gynesexual pride flag
There are several gynesexual pride flags. It is unknown who and when designed the first and the most popular one. All we know is its colors and their meaning. The flag consists of three horizontal stripes of equal width. From top to bottom, the colors are the following: light pink, brown, green. The pink color, just like in the transgender pride flag, represents attraction towards women. The brown color symbolizes support and stability. The green color, just like in the genderqueer pride flag, represents attraction towards femininity.
Importance of coming out
In fact, numerous studies show that LGBTQIA+ individuals, including gynesexuals, who have made the decision to come out have a lower risk of depression, drug abuse, and higher self-esteem than those who have chosen to stay in the closet. Because they are living openly and honestly, gynesexual people who have come out are overall more satisfied with their lives than closeted ones. Of course, we are only talking about individuals in safe environments. Gynesexual people living or working in an unsafe environment should definitely leave their coming out for another day.
If you think it is safe for you to come out as gynesexual and you have been considering to share this with important people in your life, here are some tips for you:
- Let the first person you come out to be someone you really trust and you know you can rely on;
- There is no right or wrong way to come out - any way that makes you feel most comfortable and safe is perfect, whether it be in person, via text message, letter, or a social media post;
- To boost your confidence and understand you are not alone, it can be useful for you to read how others (actors, singers, politicians, etc.) have come out;
- If you feel that you are in crisis, seek counseling or contact an LGBTQIA+ helpline.
Helping your friends and family understand gynesexuality
As you come out as gynesexual to more and more people, some of them probably ask more and more questions. And while it is not your job to educate your family, friends, coworkers, and everyone around you about your identity, who better than you can explain the basics of this sexual orientation? Obviously, it takes time and patience to repeat all the information about gynesexuals and gynesexuality over and over again.
To avoid having to explain the same things, you should prepare a list of useful resources like websites, Youtube channels, blogs, and every time a new person you come out to wants to know more about gynesexuality just hand it over to them. Even though some individuals may struggle to grasp new concepts, be sure that people in your life who want to support you will do their best to familiarize themselves with all the terminology regarding gynesexuality and will become the gynesexual community’s advocates and allies.