What is bicuriosity?
According to some people, bicuriosity is not a sexual orientation by itself. They claim that it is nothing but a desire to experiment sexually with an individual of the same gender.
But as more and more individuals identify as bicurious, the number of people who do not believe this orientation exists is decreasing.
Bicurious pride flag
There are several versions of the bicurious flag. The first and the most popular version of it was created by the Tumblr user Arco-Pluris in 2018:
It has seven horizontal stripes of different widths. The colors, from top to bottom, are the following: bright pink, pink, light pink, white, light blue, blue, bright blue. These colors are similar to those of the bisexual flag; the only difference is that there is no purple color because people who identify as bicurious are not necessarily bisexual.
So, bright pink and pink stripes symbolize bicurious heterosexuals, the bright blue and blue ones represent bicurious heterosexuals, and the white stripe in the middle stands for those questioning their sexuality. Light pink and blue stripes represent shared experiences and slight feelings.
History and interesting facts about bicuriosity
It is unclear when the terms bicurious and bicuriosity were coined. We do know that in 1984, these words were already in the Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster dictionary. In the same year, an ad in the personals section containing the word bicurious was published in Orange County, California.
In the 1988 book The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by the American novelist Michael Chabon, the protagonist Art Bechstein starts feeling attracted to a male friend of his. Art’s realization that he might be bisexual forms a central part of the narrative.
The term bicurious became more popular in the 1990s when different sexual and gender identities began being widely discussed.
According to the Google Ngram Viewer statistics, the word bicurious saw a significant increase in the use of the term in printed sources since the early 2000s.
In Julia Davis’s 2018 TV show Sally4Ever, the protagonist Sally is heterosexual and is planning to get married to a guy before she discovers that she is sexually attracted to a friend of hers, Emma. The series depicts Sally’s transition from being attracted exclusively to men to discovering that she is bicurious and attracted to both men and women.
According to a YouGov on sexual identity survey conducted in 2019, 35% of respondents said they were heterosexual, but at the same time, they stated that they might be attracted to a person of the same gender if they met someone they really like. It is plain to see that there is a significant number of potentially bicurious people.
Fun fact: bicurious is one of the twenty sexual identity options available on a popular dating application for singles and couples called Feeld.
Importance of coming out
If you feel under pressure to tell people in your life that you have identified as bicurious before you are ready, stop! Because coming out is about you and nobody else. But if you are ready to tell others that you are bicurious, know you are doing the right thing. Coming out has so many benefits, like building up your self-esteem by being honest with yourself and having the ability to live your life openly.
Here are some tips that might be useful for you on your coming out journey:
- Choose someone you know for sure will support you as the first person to come out to;
- If you think telling some individuals in person may be challenging, send them a text, a message on social media, an email, or even a written letter - only you decide what way to come out you are most comfortable with;
- Read celebrities coming out interviews and stories - it might help you gain confidence and start thinking positively about your coming out as bicurious;
- If you need more advice or help, remember that there are LGBTQIA+ support groups, therapists, and hotlines where you will be listened to confidentially and without judgment.
Helping your loved ones understand bicuriosity
As mentioned before, some people, including some figures in the LGBTQIA+ community have questioned and are still questioning the validity of the terms bicuriosity and bicurious. They say that individuals calling themselves bicurious just want to "dip their toe before swimming in the ocean".
According to some other people, bicuriosity implies some sexual experience with people of the same gender; thus, a person needs to be bisexual before identifying as bicurious. Fortunately, some individuals in the community accept that people can be attracted to two opposite genders at the same time, for example, to both men and women without having to identify as bisexual.
It can be difficult and tricky to make your friends and loved ones understand the essence of your sexual identity because it is not cut and dried. You might also get bored having to explain to everybody what bicuriosity is. But it is your task to help your family and friends grasp that concept. If not you, then who?
Our generation is lucky to have lots of websites, YouTube channels, books about bicuriosity the previous generation didn’t have. These resources celebrate LGBTQIA+ diversity and advocate for justice and equal opportunities. By recommending these resources or some other material to your loved ones, family, and friends, you encourage them to educate themselves on the subject of bicuriosity but also help empower bicurious people like you and build a strong community.