What is pseudosexuality?
Pseudosexual people may experience:
- Sensual and/or aesthetic-based sexual arousal towards someone without a desire to have sex with that person;
- Arousal by sexual content or fantasies about some people while lacking interest in engaging in sexual activity with them;
- Sensual and/or aesthetic attraction that is so strong that it overwhelms any potential sexual attraction;
- Libido spikes when seeing or sensing someone somehow while lacking sexual attraction towards them.
Pseudosexuals are often compared to miransexuals. In fact, these two sexual identities share some similarities but differences, too - miransexual individuals experience only visual (mirous) sexual attraction while other senses are not involved. Also, miransexuality does not include sensual attraction.
Pseudosexual flag
The pseudosexual pride flag was created in 2022, just like the term pseudosexual:
This flag was inspired by the asexual pride flag. It has five horizontal stripes of equal width. The colors, from top to bottom, are the following: purple, pink, white, gray, black. The meaning of the colors is the same as in the asexual flag. The pink color, which the asexual flag lacks, symbolizes tertiary physical attraction (such as sensual and aesthetic attraction) since both of these kinds of attraction are often represented with the pink in the asexual community.
History
The term pseudosexual (from Greek "pseudo-" meaning "false" + sexual) was coined by Reddit user AnonymousHermitCrab in the subreddit r/asexuality in 2022. They chose this Greek root to convey how a tertiary physical attraction can reveal itself as a "false" sexual attraction.
The date of the creation of the alternative term for this sexual orientation, senssexual, is unknown. All we know is that it derives from Latin "sens-" meaning "to feel" + sexual. The root word "sens-" was chosen to convey how important it is to feel sensory (sensual) and/or aesthetic attraction for people of this sexual orientation.
The importance of coming out
Coming out is not a one-time thing. It is a lifelong process of figuring out, accepting, and eventually disclosing one’s sexual orientation. It may be easy for some and more challenging for others.
Recent studies have shown that pseudosexual individuals who have made the wise decision to come out of the closet are less likely to feel stressed, lonely, isolated, suffer from depression, and become addicted to substances than those who have chosen to stay in the closet. However, we strongly recommend that you consider postponing your coming out if you live, study, and/or work in an unsafe environment.
If you know people in your life are accepting and supportive, then go ahead and come out. Here are some tips for you on how to make the process as smooth as possible:
- Read celebrities or other famous people coming out stories before taking that important step of coming out to someone for the first time - it will help you build self-confidence;
- Once you have shared the news to someone you really trust, tell them that you are coming out to other people and talk to them after each event about how things went;
- Find as many trusted allies as you can - they will help you cope with your experiences, especially not very positive ones;
- You and only you decide whether to come out to most people in a face-to-face conversation or to send them a text, email, letter - it is your story, so it is entirely up to you how to write it.
Helping your friends and family understand pseudosexuality
It is crucial for you to realize that acceptance by others, just like your coming out, is a process. So if some of the people who are close to you need time to deal with the news that you are a pseudosexual, let them process it. Be ready for a possible shift in the way your (probably, mostly straight) friends, family, coworkers will treat you after your coming out. Fortunately, times are changing - society is starting not to assume everyone is straight and to be a much more LGBTQIA+ welcoming place.
Remember that it still may take people in your life days, weeks, or even months to come to terms with their friend’s or family member’s sexual identity. Yet, it is also true that if they care deeply about you, they will do anything it takes to challenge their bias and accept your sexual orientation. What you can do is provide them with a list of useful resources - websites, blogs, YouTube channels about pseudosexuality. Those who really want to keep being your friend will educate themselves on the subject and learn all the terminology in no time.