What is polysexuality?
Some polysexuals may be attracted to individuals of all gender identities, which makes this sexual orientation similar to omnisexuality and pansexuality, but not necessarily. Usually, polysexuals are attracted to people of several gender identities - three or more. For example, a polysexual person may feel attraction towards genderfluid people, maverique people, transgender people, binary men, but not towards other genders. Some other polysexuals can be attracted to people of almost all gender identities, except for women, for instance.
In some cases, polysexuality and bisexuality may be similar, too. A fraction of individuals self-identify as both polysexual and bisexual, while others prefer one sexual identity over the other. Some people may find it more comfortable to describe themselves as polysexual because bisexual individuals are often assumed to be strictly binsexual (sexually attracted exclusively to people of binary genders) and disexual (sexually attracted to people of exactly two genders). Individuals who feel that they do not fit the preconceived ideas society has about bisexuality may choose to identify as polysexual.
Polysexual is also seen as an umbrella term for several sexual identities:
- Trixensexual - an identity where an individual experiences sexual attraction exclusively towards non-binary people and binary women;
- Neptunic or Nomascsexual - an identity where a person feels sexual attraction exclusively towards binary women, feminine-presenting non-binary people, and gender-neutral non-binary people;
- Torensexual - an identity where an individual experiences sexual attraction exclusively towards non-binary people and binary men;
- Uranic or Nofemsexual - an identity where a person feels attraction exclusively towards masculine, gender-neutral non-binary-aligned people and binary men.
Numerous surveys show that a significant number of people experience sexual attraction towards individuals of all non-binary genders and one binary gender.
Polysexual pride flag
The first and the most popular polysexual flag was created in 2012 by the Tumblr user Samlin. As a poly person, Samlin thought it was unfair that people of this sexual orientation did not have a flag, so they created one that looks pretty similar to the pansexual and bisexual flags because all these sexual identities fall under the multisexual umbrella.
The flag consists of three horizontal stripes of equal width. The colors, from top to bottom, are the following: bright pink, green, blue. The bright pink color symbolizes the sexual attraction towards binary women. The green color stands for the attraction towards non-binary people, and the blue color symbolizes the sexual attraction towards binary men.
History and interesting facts
The term polysexual has been around for a long while - at least since the late 1920s. At the time, though, it was used in the sense of polyamory (the practice of having, or being open to having, multiple sexual partners, even when in a relationship with someone - essentially, non-monogamy or polygamy). Today, polysexuality is understood to be a term that is entirely different from polyamory.
In a 1974 article for Stereo Review magazine, Noel Coppage mentioned ‘asexual, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual’ pop stars, referring specifically to the legendary singer-songwriter and musician David Bowie. Fun fact: David Bowie has never actually self-identified as polysexual. He did identify as bisexual and gender fluid.
In the 2009 edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, polysexuality had the following definition: "Encompassing or characterized by many different kinds of sexuality".
The importance of coming out
Unfortunately, we still live in a society where not everyone’s sexual identity is accepted. In some countries, it is still a crime to be LGBTQIA+. That is why coming out as polysexual can be scary and daunting. Think twice before you decide to come out if you live, study, or work in an unsafe environment. But if you have the advantage of living in an LGBTQIA-welcoming area, do not hesitate and come out of the closet. Many studies have revealed that closeted polysexuals are at greater risk for mental health problems, such as anxiety disorder and/or major depression. Those pansexual individuals who have chosen to come out instead have higher self-esteem, lower levels of depression, and generally feel much happier than those who decided to stay in the closet.
Here are some encouraging tips that may help you come out as polysexual:
- Start by telling just one person you really know and trust - it will be uplifting to see someone react positively to your news;
- Go at your own pace; it is only your journey and nobody else’s, do not pressure yourself - there is no rush to disclose your identity to everyone;
- Looking for positive LGBTQIA+ coming out stories can help you gain self-confidence: many celebrities have shared theirs on various websites and YouTube channels;
- If you think you need support before you come out or after somebody’s negative reaction, talk to a polysexual-affirming therapist or call an LGBTQIA+ hotline.
Helping your friends and family understand polysexuality
Not everybody lives in a place that has lots of polysexual people. That is why you should help people in your life understand polysexuality. In big cities, it is probably easier to come out as polysexual - there are LGBTQIA+ community centers, people are more open-minded. But if you live in an area where societal attitudes towards LGBTQIA+ individuals are outdated, it is definitely your task to help your family and friends educate themselves on the subject. Why not provide every new person you come out to with a list of helpful resources on polysexuality? You can give them some websites or blogs where the essence of this sexual orientation is explained so they can familiarize themselves with the differences between polysexuality and other identities.
Of course, there will be unsupportive and even hostile individuals who will refuse to understand what it means to be polysexual. But people who really care about you and want to stay in your life will do their best to learn more, accept your sexual orientation, and always support you.