What is panromanticism?
Essentially, panromantics are romantically attracted to people of all genders, which does not make them attracted to all individuals they meet though. A small percentage of panromantics may actually have gender preferences when they date or get into relationships with people, but it is definitely not a crucial factor in their attraction. There are two types of panromantics - panromantic sexual individuals and panromantic asexual people. The first group may experience a sexual attraction while also feeling romantically attracted to people of all genders.
The second group rarely or never experiences sexual attraction - they can only be romantically attracted to individuals of any gender. Some panromantic asexuals perceive themselves as purely asexual people. Others who self-identify as panromantic asexuals are pretty close to demisexuals (individuals who can be sexually attracted exclusively to people they have a deep emotional bond with).
Panromantic flag
There are two commonly used panromantic flags.
The date of the creation of the first flag is unknown. All we know is that it has been made by the Tumblr user pride-color-schemes and that this design is based on the pansexual flag. In fact, this flag resembles the pansexual one a lot - it has magenta, yellow, and cyan stripes, with the only difference being that there is a transparent heart overlayed over these stripes.
The second panromantic pride flag was created by the Deviantart user Pride-flags in 2015:
The blue color symbolizes the romantic attraction towards binary males, while the red stripe represents the attraction towards binary females. The orange color stands for the romantic attraction towards people whose gender identities are outside the binary, and the green stripe symbolizes the attraction towards gender-neutral and genderless people.
Myths about panromanticism debunked
Myth #1: Panromantic people are more likely to be unfaithful to their long-term partners than other individuals.
Romantic attraction to any gender has nothing to do with loyalty. One’s romantic orientation is not a matter of choice, while loyalty is a choice and a responsibility.
Myth #2: Panromantic asexuals are cold and emotionless.
If someone never has sex, that does not make them cold. Note that panromantic asexual people may actually engage in sexual activity (some try it just once, some do it regularly) - out of curiosity, to please their partners, or for some other reasons. People who are in long-term relationships with panromantic asexuals should certainly be very empathetic and never pressure their loved ones into anything sexual that they may be uncomfortable with.
Why it is important to come out
Many panromantic individuals decide to come out to important people in their lives because they have reached a point where they do not want and cannot hide who they are anymore. A recent study shows that panromantic people who have decided to disclose their romantic orientation live much happier lives compared to closeted panromantics. Those who have come out are less likely to suffer from stress, depression, and substance abuse because they can stop hiding and start being honest about who they are.
In any case, remember that it is entirely up to you whether to come out or not. Also, keep in mind that if you do not feel safe, it is better to give up the idea of coming out for a while.
If you live and work in a safe environment and have been considering to come out as panromantic, here are some tips for you:
- Think about who you want to tell first and make sure they are someone you really trust;
- Be prepared for both positive and negative reactions, and remember that sometimes a person’s first reaction is not how they will feel forever - be patient, chances are they will eventually apologize to you and accept your new identity;
- It is up to you how exactly to share your news with people - in person, via call/videocall, text, or email;
- If you feel like you need help, get support from your local LGBTQIA+ community, call a hotline, or talk to a counselor.
Helping your friends and family understand panromanticism
So you came out as panromantic to a number of people, and some of them didn’t react the way you expected. First of all, do not panic and give your family, coworkers, or friends who were shocked by your revelations that you are panromantic a chance to think. Give them time to digest your news, too.
Providing these people with a list of resources that can help them educate themselves on the subject might also be a good idea. We are lucky to live in the twenty-first century when lots of blogs, leaflets, YouTube channels are available for people who want to familiarize themselves with LGBTQIA+ terminology, so we should take advantage of it. In any case, you can explain to your friends and family the basics of panromanticism yourself, too. Do not forget to let them know that your attraction towards someone is only one part of you and that you are still the same person they have known for years or decades.
And always remember that real friends and supportive family members will do their best to accept you for who you are and provide you with all the support you need.