What is demiromanticism?
This experience is unique for every individual who has identified as demiromantic. For instance, demiromantic people are not necessarily averse to physical affection and/or sex. Some demiromantic individuals may enjoy hugging, cuddling, engaging in sexual activity, even if they are not romantically attracted to someone. Because a significant number of demiromantics may be sexually attracted to strangers, while romantically, they can only be attracted to someone they have a strong emotional bond with.
However, some people who identify as demiromantic think that dating strangers is unreasonable. So speed dating may not work for this group of demiromantics. But even if they actually start dating someone, a romantic getaway with their new partner or even watching a romantic comedy at the initial stage of the relationship might not be their cup of tea. It is also typical for a demiromantic person not to see the point in sweet romantic gestures until they have known/dated someone for a long time.
Demiromanticism can be the only romantic orientation one has, but it can also be combined with other orientations. For example, some individuals can be demiromantic and gyneromantic (romantically attracted to women/femininity/female anatomy) at the same time. Some demiromantic individuals may also identify as grayromantic.
Note that if a person gets a crush on their good friend, this does not necessarily mean that this person is demiromantic. However, it can happen that some demiromantic individuals suddenly start feeling romantically attracted to a friend after several years of friendship.
Demiromantic pride flag
TIt is unknown who and when created the demiromantic flag. All we know is that this flag consists of a black triangle on the left side, a thick white horizontal stripe on the top, a thin green line in the middle, and a thick gray stripe on the bottom.
Importance of coming out
The coming out process is different for everyone. And it should be a personal decision when to start that process. So if you self-identified as demiromantic, come out if/when you are ready, not when other people want you to. Also, come out only if you are sure you’re safe. If you are, you should know that numerous studies show that coming out provides multiple health benefits, both mentally and physically speaking.
People who have chosen not to stay in the closet have a lesser chance of suffering from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcohol/drug abuse, and having suicidal thoughts.
If you are looking to come out as demiromantic smoothly, here are some tips for you:
- Let the first person you come out to be someone you know is super supportive and will always be no matter what - it might be a good friend or sibling you’re close with;
- If you do not feel confident enough to come out to someone in person, send them a text, an email, or a written letter where you can let your thoughts and emotions flow freely;
- There will be people who will accept you, and there will be others who will not (or, at least, react negatively to your news at first);
- Remember that you are amazing just the way you are; be proud of being demiromantic and do not let hostile people put you down.
Helping your friends and family understand demiromanticism
Demiromanticism is still an unfamiliar subject for many people out there. Furthermore, some individuals have no idea what a romantic identity is in the first place. And it is perfectly normal - the language and terminology related to sexual/romantic identities and gender are constantly changing and expanding.
When you come out to your loved ones, friends, family, coworkers, it would be a good idea to have a list of resources that can help them educate themselves on demiromanticism. The individuals you come out to may ask you many questions. So if you give them useful resources to refer to it might help them feel less confused and make the process easier for you. Because it is important for people to self-identify as demiromantic, and for their loved ones, to understand the meaning of the terms demiromanticism and demiromantic.