What is lesbianism?
Although there are fewer historical records of romantic relationships between women than men because, in the past, society was patriarchal and focused mainly on men, sexual and romantic relationships between females have existed since the beginning of time.
Lesbian pride flags
There are several important versions of the lesbian pride flag. Described below are the three most important ones.
The first lesbian flag was created in 1999 by Sean Campbell, a graphic designer, and a cisgender gay man. It is often referred to as the labrys lesbian pride flag.
Its symbolism is deeply rooted in lesbian history. The design involves a labrys within an inverted black triangle set against a violet-hue background. The labrys, which is a double-headed ax, was used by the Amazons; in the 1970s, it was adopted as an empowerment symbol by lesbian feminists. The black triangle represents the triangles Nazis used to mark lesbian concentration camp prisoners for being "asocial". The violet color is associated with lesbian women because of Sappho, the most famous Ancient Greek female poet who was allegedly a lesbian.
The second lesbian pride flag, commonly referred to as the lipstick lesbian flag, was made in 2010 by designer Natalie McCray:
Because it features shades of pink/red and a kiss mark, it has been perceived by many as femme-only, since "lipstick lesbian" is a slang term for feminine-presenting lesbian women.
The version of the flag with the same colors but with the lips removed that received the pink lesbian flag name was created in 2016. This design is considered more butch-inclusive.
History of lesbianism
Everywhere in the world, through all periods of history, women have found ways to be together - even where and when it was prohibited.
As far as it is known, lesbianism was first mentioned in the Code of Hammurabi, a collection of Babylonian laws, (around 1700 B.C.) that actually allowed females to marry each other.
The term “lesbian” originates from the name of the Lesbos island (Greece), where the above-mentioned poetess Sappho was born. In parenthesis, in Ancient Greece, same-sex relationships were not considered immoral - both males and females got into homosexual relationships, often while being in heterosexual marriages.
From Egyptian rule through the early Roman Empire, there are many references to legally recognized lesbian marriages, such as the union between Berenice, the Queen of Egypt, and Mesopotamia, the woman she loved.
Some forms of lesbian activities were mentioned in the Kama Sutra.
There are no records of lesbianism in Chinese history. As for the Arabic countries, lesbianism was considered normal among the wives in harems.
In Native American tribal cultures, lesbianism was perceived as a life choice made to live according to the Spirit. So it comes as no surprise that marriages between women were allowed in eleven Native American tribes.
In Europe, in the Middle Ages lesbianism which was referred to as “female sodomy” back then, was severely punished - depending on the country, from three years of penance to various mutilations or even burning.
Speaking of the different terms that were used to describe women attracted to women in the past, during the Victorian era, the word sapphist was used to describe females we now call lesbians. Incidentally, England has never criminalized lesbianism; at times (particularly the seventeenth-nineteenth centuries) it has even been accepted.
In the early years of the USA, several anti-lesbian laws were proposed, but none have ever been enacted. At the beginning of the twentieth century, several groups in the United States started working in hiding to avoid persecution and fight for LGBT rights.
These days, there is still a lot of work to be done; however, remarkable progress has been made in the majority of the Western countries in the field of lesbian rights.
Myths about lesbianism debunked
There are more myths and misconceptions about lesbians than you can imagine. Let us debunk some of them.
Myth #1: All lesbians hate men.
Lesbians do not hate men. It is probably more accurate to say that they are indifferent towards men. Some lesbians even have a ton of male friends. The people who constantly complain about males instead are straight women.
Myth #2: Lesbians are lesbians because they did not manage to "snag" a man.
Lesbians are lesbians because, at some point in their lives, they have realized they are lesbians. Sexual orientation is not a choice. Many lesbian women probably started to become aware of who they are attracted to at a very young age - at puberty or even earlier.
Myth #3: All lesbian couples "u-haul" right away.
It is true that for a small percentage of lesbian couples, "u-hauling" (moving in together after just a couple of dates) can be a thing. But most lesbians can have commitment issues just as big as people of any other sexual orientation.
Myth #4: In a lesbian relationship, one woman is "the man" and the other one, is "the woman".
Not necessarily! Sure, some lesbian couples are "butch/femme" (masculine-presenting/feminine-presenting). But there are also lots of couples where both women are masculine- or feminine-presenting.
Myth #5: It is much easier for a woman to be in a lesbian relationship than a straight one - females understand each other perfectly.
The truth is that no relationship is ever easy, no matter if it is between two lesbian women, two gay men, or a straight man and a straight woman.
Why coming out is important
Sometimes, coming out is portrayed as one big event. But it is actually a process. And making the decision to start this process can be scary. Coming out as a lesbian has to be repeated multiple times with different people, and each time involves anxiety over how these individuals - family, friends, coworkers - will react. Many studies have revealed though that lesbians who have chosen to come out are less likely to feel overly stressed and suffer from depression than those who have decided to stay in the closet. In fact, many lesbian women admit that being in the closet is lonely and frustrating.
Obviously, safety comes first, so it is a must for every lesbian girl or woman to make sure it is safe to come out in their area. Below are listed countries where it is still illegal to be a lesbian.
But if you are lucky enough to live in a safe environment and have been planning on coming out as a lesbian, here are some tips for you:
- Once you have taken that big first step which is coming out to yourself, proceed with telling one trusted person and then eventually tell others;
- If you do not feel comfortable with telling everyone in person, you can come out via text or email - some people just do not know what to say when they hear the news, so it gives them an opportunity to take their time to come up with a response;
- Be prepared for some people's bad reactions and do not take them personally - this negativity is a reflection of them, not you;
- Build a powerful support system - surround yourself with accepting family members and friends.
In what countries is lesbianism still outlawed?
It is beyond belief that in the twenty-first century, some countries still criminalize relationships between women. Yet, the ugly truth is that it is still illegal to be a lesbian in the following countries:
Algeria, Antigua & Barbuda, Barbados, Brunei, Gambia, Grenada, Dominica, Morocco, Tunisia, Lybia, Maldives, Malaysia, Mauritania, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and The Grenadines, Senegal, Solomon Islands, Sri Lanka.
The law in some countries (Lebanon, Syria, and some other territories (mostly in the Middle East) uses vague language - “carnal knowledge against the order of nature” to describe different types of sex, for example, anal sex or any sexual activity between men, but that sometimes is also used against lesbian women. Fortunately, there is good news for the LGBTQIA+ community too. Lesbian and gay rights have seen some improvements recently in some African countries. For instance, Angola and Botswana decriminalized homosexuality in 2019, and Gabon, in 2020.
Helping your friends and family understand lesbianism
So you have been coming out as a lesbian to different people in your life. Some of them turned out to be supportive, others less so. Of course, it is not your task to try and convince homophobic people that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. Haters are going to hate.
What you can and should do is explain to people who doubt whether it is okay for a woman to love a woman but show a positive tendency overall that sexual orientation is something biologically determined. You can provide your friends, family members, coworkers with a list of useful resources - scientific articles, blogs, YouTube channels about lesbians - that can help them better understand lesbianism. There is a good chance that once these individuals have educated themselves on the subject, eventually, they might accept your sexual orientation.