Sexual fluid

What is sexual fluidity?

Sexual fluidity (otherwise referred to as abrosexuality) is a sexuality that is fluid or changing. A sexually fluid individual can shift between any sexualities on any spectrum, including allosexual, asexual, monosexual, and polysexual.

For example, a person could feel like they are heterosexual, then asexual the next day, and cupiosexual a few days later. For some sexually fluid people, these shifts may be irregular, and for others, they may be systematic.

For some abrosexual people, their sexual identities may shift in a matter of hours or days, while for others, they change over months or even years.

The intensity of sexual attraction or the way a sexually fluid individual feels this attraction may also be fluid. Because of this inconsistent attraction towards people of different genders, most abrosexual individuals do not feel compelled to look for a stable relationship.

Some sexually fluid people may desire a specific type of sexual activity with individuals of one gender, and enjoy different kinds of sex with people of other genders.

Abrosexual is somewhat similar to aceflux. The difference between these sexual identities is that people who identify as aceflux are always attracted to individuals of the same gender; what changes is the way they are attracted to them, or how intense this attraction is. For abrosexual individuals instead, shifts happen between the genders they are attracted to.

Abrosexual pride flag

There are several abrosexual pride flag designs. The first and the most popular one was created in 2015 (according to other sources, in 2016) by the user Mod Chad of pride-flags-for-us on Tumblr. The flag has five horizontal stripes of equal width. The colors, from top to bottom, are the following: mint green, light mint green, white, light pink, dark pink.

History

The terms sexually fluid and sexual fluidity were coined in 2008 by the American feminist and professor of developmental psychology, Dr. Lisa M. Diamond. She drew a lot of attention to sexual fluidity in females with her book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire, published that year.

As for the term abrosexual, we know that it can be traced back to 2013. It was first mentioned on the online community DeviantArt. The word abrosexual originates from abro- (Greek root meaning “graceful” or “delicate”) + sexual. The word suggests “graceful” sexual shifts and fluidity. The term abrosexual started to spread on the gender- and sexuality-related websites around 2016, the same year the first abrosexual flag was designed.

Importance of coming out

Whenever LGBTQIA+ people meet new friends, introduce themselves to new coworkers, etc., they need to come out. That is why coming out is never a one-time thing. It is a process of gradual disclosure of one’s sexual identity to others.

And everyone’s coming out experiences are different - for instance, some people decide to tell their friends and family they are abrosexual at a young age, while others stay in the closet for a long while and come out in later years.

For some individuals, coming out can be pretty daunting. Even in accepting environments, one can feel anxious and scared to come out. That is why it is crucial for every abrosexual person to take their time to figure out and value their identity first.

You have identified as abrosexual and you are pondering the pros and cons of coming out? Then you should know that many studies show that LGBTQIA+ people who have come out of the closet are much less likely to be depressed, stressed, anxious, unhappy than those who chose to stay in the closet. So unless you live in an unsafe environment, coming out as abrosexual is a good choice. Because when you come out, it means you decide to live your life authentically, which opens up many exciting possibilities - community connectedness, self-love, personal growth.

Hopefully, these tips will help you feel ready to start your amazing coming out journey:

• Consider who you want to come out to first - it may be any important person in your life; the only must is for them to be strongly supportive and highly trusted;
• Coming out as abrosexual may seem complicated; the good news is that it will get easier if you are confident, so why not practice your speech in front of a mirror?
• It is not a good idea to come out in an argument or when you are upset - people may have different reactions, but if you keep a positive attitude, chances your friends and family will react more positively and supportively to your news are higher ;
• If you are in crisis, join local LGBTQIA+ support groups or get a counselor to talk to - it is okay to seek help when you need it.

Helping your friends and family understand sexual fluidity

Sexuality is something more complex than many people tend to think. The acceptance of sexual fluidity varies widely across cultures. Some individuals interpret fluidity as confusion or even betrayal. That is why it is important for you to explain to people in your life that there is nothing wrong with being abrosexual, and it is not a choice, which is also the case for all sexual orientations.

Undoubtedly, your family members, loved ones, coworkers can and should do their own research on sexual fluidity. However, if you want them to have useful tools that help understand abrosexual people like you and treat them with respect, give them a list of resources so they can educate themselves on the subject. These resources may include websites, books, YouTube channels.

Do not give up if you do not feel understood at first. Individuals who have been taught about sexual identities from an outdated "heterosexual is the only normal" perspective may feel uncomfortable the first time they discover that a whole spectrum of sexualities exists. But anyone can put some effort into learning and accepting the new truth, especially to support a good friend or a relative.