What does it mean to be queer?
In other words, queer people are on a spectrum of gender- and sexual fluidity. Historically, the term queer used to be derogatory. Although it has been now adopted by most of the LGBTQIA+ community, not all of its members have embraced it yet. Individuals who disapprove of the usage of this word think that it is offensive and self-deprecative. There are people who object to the use of the term both in and out of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Queer pride flag
There are at least 13 flags made for people who self-identify as queer. One of the first queer flag designs was created by the user Pastelmemer in 2015. It has nine vertical stripes of equal width with a big letter Q in the center. The colors, from left to right, are the following: black, light pink, pink, orange, green, blue, light blue, black. The shades of pink symbolize same-sex attraction between women, and the shades of blue, between men. The orange and green colors represent non-binary people. As for black and white, these colors stand for agender, aromantic, and ace spectrum people.
The same user created another version of this flag later. The colors and their meanings are the same, the only two differences are that there is no letter Q on the flag, and the stripes are horizontal.
Some queer people also use the traditional LGBTQIA+ pride flag - the Rainbow flag.
History
Since it first appeared in the English language in the 16th century, the word “queer” has always meant something strange, peculiar, abnormal, odd, or suspicious. For example, a person who was feeling sick would say they “feel queer”; counterfeit money was referred to as “queer” too. The colloquial expression “in Queer Street“ which is still used in the UK today, means that a person is in financial trouble.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it was the Marquess of Queensbury who used the word “queer” as a noun meaning homosexual in 1894 for the very first time in history. The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang, a dictionary that presented all the slang terms of the English language, says the adjective “queer” started being widely used in the sense of “homosexual” about 1914, mainly in the USA. According to the author of the book, the term was “derogatory from the outside, but not from within,” meaning that it was being used as a self-description even back then.
In 1965, in the College Edition of Webster’s New World Dictionary “queer” was listed as a noun and adjective. The definition of the word was “slang for homosexual”. Not offensive slang anymore - just slang. This clearly shows the growing acceptance of the term.
However, the real transformation of this word from pejorative to neutral and even positive started in the late 1980s. A good example of the usage of the word queer by the LGBT community in a positive context was by an organization called Queer Nation, founded in 1990.
According to The Dictionary of American Slang, “in the early 1990s queer was adopted as a non-pejorative designation by some homosexuals, in the spirit of gay pride“. Since then, “queer” has changed its meaning - now it is, unquestionably, more than “homosexual”.
Different intersex activists perceive the word queer in different ways. In the opinion of some of them, the term can be applied to intersex people, while others think it cannot. Sociologist Morgan Holmes and bioethicist Morgan Carpenter describe intersex bodies as queer bodies. Japanese-American intersex activist and independent scholar Emi Koyama writes in one of his works that the intersex movement was deeply influenced by the activism of gay and queer organizations of the 1980s and 90s, like Lesbian Avengers and Queer Nation.
Several LGBTQIA+ social movements in different countries of the world use the identifier queer - for instance, the Queer Youth Network in the UK and the Queer Cyprus Association in Cyprus. Adherents of the queer nationalism movement support the idea that because LGBTQIA+ people have truly unique customs and culture, they form a distinct community.
The importance of coming out
Every coming out story is unique, as is every queer person. There is no right or wrong way to be queer, and there is no right or wrong way (or time) to come out. Several studies have revealed that queer people who have chosen to come out are less stressed and anxious than those who have decided to stay in the closet.
You should not come out if you think you might experience discrimination or violence because of your sexuality. But if you live and work in a safe environment and you have been considering coming out as queer, here are some tips for you:
- Come out to a friend you know are accepting, supportive, and affirming first;
- Know that some people may not jump for joy when you come out as queer; some of them, most likely, just need time to process this information;
- Do what feels right for you - you and only you choose people you want to come out to, as well as where, when, and how to do it;
- If you need extra help, talk to a therapist or call an LGBTQIA+ to get maximum support.
Helping your friends and family understand queerness
Some individuals, especially if they have never met a queer person before, may have a hard time understanding what it is like to be queer. Luckily, there is a myriad of resources - websites, blogs, YouTube channels that can help people educate themselves on the subject of queer identity. But whenever you come out to someone, you will definitely have to explain some things yourself too, especially to friends or family members of older generations. Obviously, it is not your responsibility to convince queerphobic people that it is okay to be queer. What you can and should do is to talk openly about your identity and help those who want to familiarize themselves with queerness learn more about it.
Those who really care will listen, ask, respect, accept, and support you because they know it is the best way to treat all important people in their lives. They will remain your good friends, and in addition, become good queer allies.