Genderfae gender identity
Some people who identify as genderfae feel that shifts between their genders happen very quickly - in a matter of hours, while some others notice that their genders fluctuate slowly - over weeks or even months.
When a genderfae individual realizes their gender identity has changed, they may or may not change their gender presentation.
There are several gender identities similar or somehow related to genderfae. Here are some of them:
- Genderfaun (also gendermars) - a gender that fluctuates between multiple genders, but these genders never include the feminine ones. According to some, genderfaun is a non-feminine subtype of genderfluid.
- Genderfaer - a gender identity that is fluid between multiple genders that may include masculine genders; however, it can never encompass the binary male identity.
- Genderfaunet - a gender that shifts between multiple genders that may include feminine genders, but never binary female.
- Marfluid (otherwise referred to as mascfluid) - a gender identity which is a form of genderfluidity; marfluid individuals experience exclusively or mostly masculine genders. In some cases, marfluid peoples’ genders may fluctuate between identities such as demiboy, binary male, etc.
- Venufluid (also femmefluid or femfluid) - a gender which is a form of genderfluidity where an individual experiences only or mostly feminine genders. Venufluid people’s genders may shift between gender identities such as demigirl, binary female, etc.
- Genderflor (also gendervae) - an identity that fluctuates between multiple genders but these genders never include male nor female.
- Demifae - a gender which is partly static and partly fluid (which also makes it similar to demifluid); the fluid part of this gender only shifts between identities that are not male/masculine/masculine-aligned, while the static part of this gender may be any gender identity or a mixture of gender identities.
- Genderselkie - a gender identity fluctuating between multiple genders that often include the xenogender identity.
The basics and some history
The term genderfae was coined in 2014 when an anonymous user submitted it on the MOGAI-Archive blog. However, some people did not accept this term claiming that is disrespectful to cultures and/or religions where faes (fairies) are revered. That is why another user proposed an alternative term, "genderdoe" for people who want to avoid using the word "fae". There is also another alternative term to describe this gender identity - "genderthil".
According to the 2019 Worldwide Gender Census, twelve respondents answered that they perceive themselves as genderfae; in the 2020 Gender Census, this number almost tripled - 53 respondents (0.21%) said they identify as genderfae.
Flag
The most popular genderfae flag was created by the users superpopcorn101 and Pride-Flags of the DeviantArt website. It consists of seven horizontal stripes of equal width. The colors, from top to bottom, are the following: pastel light green, pastel chartreuse, pastel yellow, white, pastel pink, pastel lilac, pastel lavender.
Light green stands for growth; chartreuse symbolizes curiosity and playfulness. Yellow represents gender non-conformity, white, a unique perception of gender, pink stands for femininity. Lilac symbolizes love and beauty, and lavender represents spirituality.
Genderfae and sexual orientation
The term "sexual orientation" has several definitions. According to one of the most widely used definitions, it is the direction of sexual/romantic feelings and/or behavior towards people of the same gender or different gender. Individuals who identify as genderfae, just like anyone else, may have any sexual orientation - homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc.
What pronouns should be used when talking to a genderfae?
Some people who identify as genderfae prefer the gender-neutral they/them/theirs pronoun set. Some others use neopronouns, such as ve/ver/vis, xe/xem/xyr, per/per/pers, etc.
Genderfae individuals whose genders fluctuate between, for example, genderqueer and female, may prefer the feminine pronouns she/her/hers. The best way to find out what pronouns your genderfae interlocutor prefers is to ask them.
Coming out as genderfae
Everyone’s coming out journey is different. There is no "wrong" or "right" way or time to come out. Some individuals come out as soon as they figure out their gender identity; some prefer to never disclose their gender. Some tell everyone, some others just share it with one close friend. It all depends on your situation.
If you have self-identified as genderfae and are considering coming out to others, here are a few tips that might be useful for you:
- Determine how safe it is to come out as genderfae in your community - ask yourself "Is my workplace or school LGBTQIA+ friendly?", "How do people in my community treat and talk about genderfae and other non-binary individuals?", etc.; if you do not feel safe, you may want to postpone your coming out until something changes;
- If you are still determined to come out as genderfae, tell one trusted person first - it might be your best friend or a supportive family member; then you can proceed to come out to others;
- You do not have to come out to everyone in person - you can choose to do it via text, email, video call, or voice call (you can always hang up if someone reacts too negatively);
- If you feel like you are in crisis and need urgent help, reach out to an LGBTQIA+ hotline.
How can I show my support to my genderfae family, friends, coworkers?
Undoubtedly, in recent years, significant progress has been made - genderfae people’s rights are now more legally protected than ever before. Multiple countries worldwide legally recognized the non-binary gender classification, many companies are creating LGBTQIA+ inclusive workplace policies.
But many genderfae individuals are still facing challenges securing employment, finding housing, and accessing healthcare because of gender bias, discrimination, and inequality that persists in our society.
And it is our task to ensure that no one is denied any basic necessities because their gender does not fit societal stereotypes. Here is what you can do today to be an ally and make genderfae people’s lives better:
- If your genderfae friend or coworker decides to open up to you, always listen to them with an open mind and heart - it will help you develop a deep understanding of how the world views and treats them and what you can do to change it;
- Confront your own subconscious bias: if you want to be a good ally, you need to challenge any stereotypes and prejudice you probably never even realized you had;
- Speak up if you hear someone make an offensive joke or use gender-biased language;
- Show your support by wearing a genderfae pin, posting a genderfae flag (or even hanging it in your window), attending LGBTQIA+ events in your area.