Feminine of center
Gay men, genderqueers, gender nonconforming people, and individuals of any other non-binary gender identity who bend towards the feminine side of the gender spectrum may perceive themselves as feminine of center as well.
The term "feminine of center" probably derives from "femme of center", a self-description that was widely used in lesbian personals ads in the 1990s. In fact, feminine of center women may also identify as femme, but also submissive, transfeminine, etc. Speaking of transfeminine, it is worth noting that as a gender expression, "feminine of center" is very similar to "transfeminine" due to its emphasized and dominant feminine identity of both.
What pronouns should I use when talking to feminine of center people?
Since feminine of center people normally want to emphasize their femininity, they may use the traditional feminine "she/her/hers" set of pronouns. But not necessarily. They may prefer the most common gender-neutral "they/them/their" set of pronouns, or neopronouns, such as "xe/xem/xyr", "ze/zem/zyr", "ve/ver/vis", "ey/em/eir", etc. The easiest way to find out what set of pronouns your feminine of center interlocutor uses is to politely ask them to share their preferred pronouns with you.
Coming out as feminine of center
Unfortunately, we still live in a society with a strong adherence to gender and sexual orientation stereotypes. Thus, coming out as a feminine of center person for people not assigned female at birth can be challenging.
The process of coming out is often a journey of a thousand steps. And it begins with the first and the most crucial step - coming out to oneself. Then eventually the feminine of center individual decides to share it with other people. If you or someone you know have made the decision to come out, here are some tips that might help you make this journey more successful:
- For a more positive experience, consider coming out first to those you fully trust and feel safe with;
- Practice what you want to say, write it down on a piece of paper (or actually send a written letter instead of telling people in person);
- Be prepared for some of your friends or family to be shocked and/or react negatively at first - give them time to come to terms with this new information;
- If you feel stressed, engage in self-care and seek support throughout your coming out process if necessary.
How can I show my support to my feminine of center coworkers or friends?
Needless to say, most anti-LGBTQIA+ hate crimes go unreported because feminine of center, gay, gender nonconforming people are reluctant to go to the police knowing that, most likely, they will face bias and prejudice.
Not to mention that same-sex relationships are still considered a crime in 70 countries!
Let us take action and do our part to end this discrimination and violence. We have our work cut out for us, but together, we can do it!
Here is how you can support feminine of center people you know:
- Be sensitive and respectful to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities and encourage your friends and family to follow your lead;
- Develop a clear mission to support feminine of center individuals and let everyone know that you’re an LGBTQIA+ ally;
- Take LGBTQIA+ discrimination seriously and spread awareness about feminine of center people’s issues in every way possible;
- Support your local LGBTQIA+ community - help get the word out about their programs and/or donate.