Demigirl

Demigirl 

Demigirl (otherwise referred to as demilady, demiwoman, demifemale person) is a term used to describe a gender identity where a person partly, but not wholly, identifies as a girl or woman, regardless of what this individual’s sex assigned at birth was. Often, people who were assigned women at birth and feel a degree of disconnection with being fully female self-identify as demigirls. 

Individuals who were assigned males at birth but who identify as more women than men, even though only partially, can identify as demigirls, too.

Demigirl people may or may not perceive themselves as having another gender (-s) besides feeling partly a woman/girl.

The basics and some history

The word “demigirl” derives from the Latin prefix demi- (“half”, “partial”) + girl.

It is unknown who coined the term. All we know is that this gender identity emerged around 2010. In December 2010, a user asked a question about the term demigirl on the AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) website. That user did manage to find little information on the Yada Wiki.

In 2011, the term "demigirl" was added to the Genderqueer Identities and Terminology page of the Genderqueerid blog. In the same year, the owner of this blog organized a survey to collect data about genderqueer people adding the demigirl option. According to the survey results, seven respondents self-identified as "demigirl".

This lead to an increase in gender awareness; the term demigirl spread on the internet and social media in the late 2010s thanks to gender diversity being more accepted in the broader culture.

There is another gender identity, similar to demigirl which is demifem (otherwise referred to as demifeminine or demifemme). It is a variation of demigirl. A demifem person is someone who does not feel comfortable with being labeled with a term from a gender binary (such as girl, female, or woman).

Flag

There are several demigirl and demifem flags. The most popular one has seven horizontal stripes of equal width. Their colors, from top to bottom, are: dark gray, gray, pink, white, pink, gray, dark gray. 

The shades of gray symbolize that “partial but not full“ sense of femininity demigirl people have. Pink needs no explanation - it is the color traditionally used for girls/women. The white color stands for gender neutrality. 

Demigirl and sexual orientation

Gender identity is an individual’s deeply-held inner feelings of whether they are female or male, both, a mix of them, or neither. It may or may not match the person’s sex assigned at birth. Sexual orientation is a term used to describe a person’s enduring pattern of sexual and/or romantic attraction towards other people. Sexual orientation may include homosexuality (attraction to the same gender), heterosexuality (attraction to a gender different than one’s own), pansexuality (attraction to all genders), asexuality (lack of sexual attraction), etc.

Both gender identity and sexual orientation are things others cannot see; to make someone aware of them, coming out is necessary. Demigirl people, just like individuals of other gender identities, can be attracted to any gender. 

What pronouns should be used when talking to a demigirl?

Some demigirl people use the “she/her/hers” set of pronouns since they partially feel feminine. Some others might use the “they/them/their” pronouns or neopronouns, like “xe/xem/xyr” or “ey/em/eir”. The best way to know what your demigirl interlocutor’s preferred pronouns are is to ask them politely and always stick to those pronouns when talking to them or about them.

Coming out as demigirl

Coming out includes both exploring one’s gender and sharing it with other people. The first steps in coming out are recognizing that your gender identity is demigirl and working towards self-acceptance. Then, eventually, you may come out to others. But this part can be challenging and daunting. If you are in a non-supportive and unsafe environment, coming out can have negative effects. So you should ponder all the pros and cons before taking this step.

If you made up your mind about coming out of the closet as a demigirl, here are some tips that hopefully can help you make your experience go as smooth as possible:

• Do not feel pressured to come out - you and only you decide when and how to do it;
• Let go of expectations - some people you come out to may react negatively and need some time to digest this new information, even (or should we say especially) parents and/or other family members;
• Think positive and don’t worry about things like “What if some friends stop being my friends when they find out I am a demigirl?” because if they do, and they change their attitude towards you, they’re not somebody you want in your life;
• Speaking to a counselor or calling an anonymous LGBTQIA+ hotline might be helpful if you are in crisis.

What is the best way to support my demigirl coworkers, friends, family?

While there has been a great deal of progress in advancing rights for people whose gender identity is demigirl, many of them are still facing bias, discrimination, and bullying. 

That is why support is so important to these individuals. And t's not that hard to be an ally to demigirl and other LGBTQIA+ people – just learning the basics about gender, using the right pronouns, understanding and respecting other individuals’ experiences and challenges will be enough. But if you want to do even more, here are some other ways to support your demigirl friends, family, or coworkers:

• Always listen to your demigirl interlocutors with an open mind and heart and offer emotional support where appropriate;
• We are lucky to live in the 21st century and have access to a near-endless supply of information about demigirl gender and other gender identities, so educate yourself on all the terminology, pronouns, etc.;
• Don’t let anyone get away with “silly” jokes that go too far and that are offensive to demigirl individuals;
• Donate to LGBTQIA+ organizations. They say, in fundraising “every penny counts”; in fact, even a small donation can make a big difference to help demigirl people who need support.